RAIN ;)

Ramadhan bakal je menjelma... yup..  tomorrow is the first of Ramdhan.. ( kinda excited...) and sure enough... the weather is quite good for melah... yes,,, today we gonna  discussing about weather.. ya.. whatever.. cara bercakap pun macam cikgu sekolah kan...

Jelebu sekarang ni tengah hujan.. for the whole week... and i would admit that i love this weather.. seriously.. i love this weather.. even bella swan tak suka hujan... but Edward like it.. yelah.. ramai yang cakap yang bila hujan je memang tak produktif langsung rasanya nak study and nak buat kerja... tahu nak tidur je.. ya.. i couldn'e deny it... but still i love it...  dan hujan jugaklah yang mengingatkan saya tentang memori yang ada di kuantan.. i love Kuantan so much... whereby... for the whole month.. hujan tak berhenti dari pagi sampai petang.. and dia punya sejuk.... memang tak boleh nak cakaplah.. especially it's morning... menggigil nak masuk bilik air... nak mandi   ape semua.... even in the afternoon also.. you have to wear a sweater because it's damn toooooooo cold.... freaking cold... macam winter jugaklah.. haha...

and thanks to this weather... i've come out with my new poem... menggigil jugaklah nak menulis... menulis dalam  blanket.. haha...  this is my favourite poem from the other poem... dan poem ni pun dah di masukkan ke dalam my first novel for the finale...  enjoy.. teeheee... 

Rains…

I lifted my head into the sky….

To see the beautiful rainbow…

Scarlet throughout the world….

My heart escalating…

When clouds mould into your face..

Pouring rain…

A beautiful sweet of sounds…

It may become a disaster..

Swipe away my life…

Become an empty bowl…

And start something new…

Pouring rain..

Give hope and trust to recover,,,

It feels like everything become better…

Cause I’m thinking about you jever,,,

Be my side forever…

I need you closer…

Once I had lost you…

I don’t want to lose you anymore…

Burden my heart like a thousand knife stab my back…

My heart crying but…

Can’t afford to shred  tears…

I can feel your warmth seeped through  my skin…

Comfort me with your energy..

When you touched me,,,

Shed the coldness of the pouring rain…

INSPIRATION: musim hujan kat kuantan…

DATE: 20/12/2012..

WRITTEN BY: KELY-MA..

DREAMS...

Assalamualaikum...

we'll be discussing about 'DREAMS'.. Lah.. bunyi terasa macam buat forum pulak... ok.. just leave it alone.. I believe that, everyone has their own dreams... tak kisahlah kita ni siapa, sesiapa jelah kut... tak kisahlah kita ni pelajar ke ataupun budak kecik... mak cik-mak cik yang ada kat rumah... pak cik-pakcik yang sanggup membanting tulang nak carik sesuap nasi untuk keluarganya kat rumah... semuanya ada impian dan harapan. semua nak harapan yang mereka create akan terkabul satu hari nanti...

My dreams??? hehehe.. tak payahlah kut tahu... tapi bila contohnya sesuatu halangan itu berlaku yang menyebabkan kita ni sesak nadfas nak bangun  balik, nak kejar balik apa yang kita nak... kita dah pun mengalah... dengan alasan..' dah ini yang ALLAH dah tetapkan untuk kita. tak ada rezekilah kut untuk aku dapat...' huish... belum berusaha kita dah cakap macam ni.. tak bermaksud yang apabila kita menyerahkan sesuatu urusan pada ilahi.. kita serahkan membuta tuli.. buta-buta je tanpa sebarang usaha... come on guys.. Allah wants to see our hard work on something not the result.... 

So.. bila kita ada impian.. dan kita percaya yang kita 'deserve it', never ever give up.. kalau dia lari kita kejar sampailah kita dapat.. orang yang betul-betul berjaya dan dapat apa yang mereka nak, takkan biarkan ada satu 'hole' pun lubang 'oppurtunity' yang dia akan biarkan... ambik je apa saja yang ada kat depan mata.. berjuang sampai hujung pernafasan... dan insya ALLAH kita akan dapat... sebabnya... saya sendiri sedang berusaha untuk mencapai apa yang saya nak... saya pernah jatuh tersungkur... saya pernah menangis.. meratap apa yang akan berlaku nanti,,, kalau impian tak capai... susah nanti nak lepaskan sesuatu yang kita sayang.. tapi bila ada kawan yang bersama-sama dengan saya... itu yang buatkan saya kuat... simple enough...Remember that, ALLAH always with us... beside us and everywhere... He's watching us... and he will help us... Don't stop believing... 

Due to this situation.. this poem.. pop up in my mind...

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

My hearts keep pounding...

Keep thinking what will happen next...

What am i supposed to do?

I closed my eyes...

Send  a prayer and hope that it's gonna be ok...

What will you do when you think that you're good... 

But it wasn't good enough...

When your dreams now scattered...

When your faith shattered...

I will do everything...

Everything to get it right...

Face it loser!!!!!!!!!

Just be brave and strong to get through this...

it's hurt and it's painful... ( I know)

When everyone give an expectation on you..

What am i supposed to do...

Every night turns to nightmare..

challenge me  to carry on my life...

But it's to painful...

My tears will tell you everything...

What exactly am i supposed to do?

Just don't give up... 

Don't let your dreams just a dream...

Try to make it real...

Make people see how much effort you put to change your faith...

Into reality...

  

                                                                                                         27/5/2013

                                                                                                       3.55p.m

p/s: sori kalau  merepek.. ;)

Comeback...

assalamualaikum...
It's been a long time tak update blog.. i know that.. tapi saya bukanlah blogger yang aktif... kut kalau ada masa and ada mood barulah terasa nak tulis macam-macam kat dalam ni....

Tujuan saya untuk blog ni senang je.. saya nak karya yang saya siarkan kat dalam blog ni, mampu nak bagi inspirasi kepada orang lain,,, nak bagi mereka sedar yang sememangnya diri kitalah yang patut menghargai.. bukan nak mengharapkan orang lain untuk menghargai kita...

Dan karya yang saya create bukanlah untuk orang puji dan bukannlah untuk orang bayar pada saya....
that's because i love to write... i love to inspire the other people... through my story... sebab saya teringat kata-kata Steve Jobs... do something that you love.. then.. you'll feel the satisfaction... puas kalau kita buat sebab minat dan kita suka.. dan kita takkan puas kalau kita buat sesuatu perkara itu dengan terpaksa or sebab power atau pun kaya...

Hope that you'll enjoy my writing... i know that i'm not good enough.. but i'm still learning...

p/s: Karya Memoir yang disiarkan sebelum ni, alhamdulillah,, dah saya siapkan bulan lepas.. cuma saya tak siarkan lagi kat sini.. fully edited... dan tak sama dengan yang saya siarkan kat blog ni...

Rise and shine... smile... because it is beautiful... indeed... thanks a lot.. love ya...

FRIENDSHIP...

I had already wrote this story when I still in Form 4... my first short story that i've ever made... time goes by without any mercy... whether or not we still need it... use it wisely and procuring... but.. we're human.. to fool... never think that we need more time..badly.... and  we need someone who we can share everything... who can we talk to them...
FRIENDSHIP... which ties us.. to learn about everything in this world....
when this bonding appear,,, we never regret any moment with them,,, cause it is your soul....
 read and weep...

 THE COLOUR OF FRIENDSHIP

    I could feel the air around me was so cold that it slowly seeped   into  my spine.It seem the world around me were shaking vigorously trying to push me down.My heart suffocated. Where am I? Was this the reality or fantasy? Someone please wake me up.Wake me up from this nightmare!

        “In the name of Allah, the  most gracious and merciful……” one by one the word crossed into my eardrum.

       “You’ll be asked with Munkar and Nakir  who is it your  god? Therefore answer it as  Allah is your god. Then you’ll be asked what is your religion? Answer it as Islam is your religion….”  

I could feel my eyes sprang and suddenly without my desire it’s burst into tears.I couldn’t control my emotion. My body shuddered.selena quickly grabbed me and I cried under her shoulder.

“Rekha please calm down. It is not nice if you do …….you do like this.”Selena tried to calm me down but I knew that she was trying to control herself. I could feel that her voice trembled as she tried to clear up her throat.

       I couldn’t say anything.Full of chagrin,torment and terror fill up in my heart after she left us  here.

      *                *                 *                 *                   *                     *                   *                 *                

         

        “If someone is always beside us through thick and thin,who is  it to us?If that person is so special and valuable in this world why do we do like that? – F.R.I.E.N.D- that the correct answer. For your information, friend play an important role throughout our life especially in our teenager’s stage nowadays. Friend……..”I quickly closed that book. I didn’t believe it. For 13 years I breathed in this world I didn’t have any friends.

         I was so afraid to befriend with anybody. That was my problem. So hard for me to relate with others. I threw my gaze outside.The sun was glimmering across the surrounding. It was a peaceful and serene scenery that I had ever felt.I closed my eyes and I  could feel the soft breeze touched my face. It was so calm.

       “Stand up class…..Good morning teacher!”Amar’s voice filled up the entire classroom. All the students immediately got up from their seats and followed the instruction.

      “Good morning class.Please sit down.!”with her broad smile, Mrs Sayani invited us to sit down.

      “Ok…Class. Today we have a new member. Please come in!” a mysterious looking person was standing behind the door. A thin girl with a heart shape face and a short bob of a hairstyle slowly paced into the class. Mrs Sayani grabbed her shoulder and turned her to us in front of the class.

         “Can you introduce yourself?” Mrs Sayani whispered into her ear. Slowly she nodded an lifted her face to us. The class went silent for a while, waiting for that mysterious person to talk. She  hesitated but after a moment she began to talk.

         “Mmm…. Hello! My name is Qisthina Elyana Roslan. Nice to meet you guys. I live at taman rasah jaya. I hope that you’ll  teach me about this school. I think that’s all from me. Thank you.”I couldn’t deny that her voice was so cute. Something weird grew in my heart. There was something special about her that I wanted to know.

         “Qisthina you may take your seat beside Rekha. Rekha ,please raise up your hand so that Qisthina will recognize you.” I was stunned for a while trying to absorb what had happen. Qisthina would sit beside me! The person that I wanted to know briefly. My heart began to beat so fast.

         “Rekha…… Rekha …….Can you raise your hand?” Mrs Sayani yelled towards me. Claustrophobia filled the surrounding. I quickly turned my head to the sources and after a while I raised my hand. I could feel that the entire class were staring at me. The  new girl slowly paced towards me and she pulled the chair and sat down.I was so anxious at that time. I was speechless at that time and that was an exotic thing happen to me.

          And that’s  how our friendship began.

          “Hye,my name is Qisthina. Yah….. I’ve already introduce myself actually just now. Nice to meet you. By  the way,what is your name?” She extended her hand as an introduction for our friendship. Her smile made everyone of us tempted because it was such a beautiful smile . I froze in my place for a while.

           “Hello……” She paused. She waved her hand in front of me.

           “Are you okay?”she continuously waved her hand tried to wake me up from  my dream. I stuttered as she did that.

           “Ohh…I’m sorry… Yah, Mmmm……my name is Rekha. Mmmm…..nice…..nice to meet you!” what happen to me? I didn’t know I was stammering. I tried to swallow back the butterflies in my throat.no one greeted me like that. It was a weird thing in my life. I quickly grabbed her hand as an agreement to start  this friendship.

           “You’re so cute!” she giggled. Totally, she had a beautiful smile. I could see her golden eyes turned to scarlet. The only thing that I could say about her was she was almost perfect.

           Year by year, month by month, week by week, day by day, I didn’t  realize that we had already been together for 4 years. Now we were in form 5. I  could tell that she had the same behavior liked me. We are liked soulmate. I could not deny that many people envy us. But for me , truefriendship is always like that. That  is how our life begin. Sometimes there is a sad moment and sometimes also there is a happy moment. By hook or by crook,we have to accept it right? AAll the test come from Allah to see whether we are strong enough to face  this life or not. That’s the definition of life.

        Eventhough there were a lot of obstacles,we faced it together. That made me strong . That  also  made me understand how the cycle of life was and knew most of the people. I admitted that before this I never thought and knew about this until I met her. She always taught me something new about life. Unfortunately,that day changed everything.

         I were so busy to finish up my chemistry homework. The chair beside me was still empty and I wonder where Qisthina was. I gazed at her place tried to search for any memo she left for me, but failed. She was never like that. Everytime, she went somewhere,she would tell me first and give a memo for me but this time there was nothing from her.

          “Maybe she has an important task to do.” I murmured under my breath. Honestly, an uneasy feeling rose in my heart but I ignored it. I just ignored it and continued with my work. Suddenly, Leah approached me and greeted me .

           “Hye Rekha! What are you doing?” Leah asked me enthuasiasthically.  I could feel that something weird about her. She never greeted me like that.

          “Don’t stare at me like that!” Her face changed immediately. I didn’t realize that I frowned at her.

         “Ohh….I’m sorry! Mmm…..why do you ask me like that?”I asked her with my pokerface. She flushed ,full of anger.

         “Nothing! Someone give you this .” She handed me a letter and without wasting any time I took it from her. I could see my name written on it. So tidy and beautiful permanship  and I knew who it was actually.

         “Thanks Leah!”

         “Yah…..Welcome!” She walked away immediately. I quickly opened the letter like I didn’t have a chance to inhale.

Dear Rekha, Please meet me this evening,3.00 p.m at the Tunku  Kurshiah  garden. There is an urgent thing to discuss. From, ( QISTHINA)

 

       An  urgent thing? What it is actually? I could feel that that something had happened. But what it is? I gazed at my watch. 5 minutes to 3 o’clock. Without wasting any time I tidied up all the thing and packed it into my bagpack. I quickly grabbed my bag and rushed to my destination. At the same time also my heart was beating so fast. I  could feel that my baroreceptor send a message to the medulla oblongata to reduce my heart beat and controlled my emotion.

      I already reached my destination. From a far,I could see her standing besides the pool waiting for me. I quickly rushed to her.

      “Qisthina!”I called her. I stopped beside her. She turned her face to me and I could see that her face was so awful. What had happened to her?

      “Qisthina, what had happened to you?” My voice trembled as I was too worried about her.

      “Nothing!Rekha, may I ask you something ?”Now I could see her face flushed. Full of anger.

      “Yah, what it is?”I replied with a weird tone as I needed an explanation in this situation.

      She frowned at me. “It  is true that you told everybody that I’m a materialistic person. And that’s also my main agenda to be friend with you.” I was stunned for a while trying to absorb the statement . Materialistic……. Agenda…….. It was such an insane thing ever. I never said that.

       After a moment, I understood. I sighed. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. After a moment, I opened up my eyes and looked into her deep blue eyes.

       “Qisthina, I think you know  that all of this thing only a slanders. This is a fake accusation,Qisthina! How many times have we faced it? I know that you know me better than anyone right? Let me recall it back to you.  Before I met you, I never had any friends and you’re the only friend I have. You’re the only one,Qisthina. You’re the only one!” She turned her face away from me and I could see her eyes sprang. I could feel my voice was trembling as I tried to control my emotion. A clear water flowed slowly through my cheek but I quickly wiped it out.

      “I’m so disappointed with you, Qisthina. You never know me at all.”I quickly swung my body and moved away, leaving her at the back. I crossed the road without looking first. The clear water continuously flowed through my cheek. I quickly wiped it out. Suddenly, a fast Lamborghini Alventador with 700hp per hour rushed  towards me. I  froze in my place trying to brace myself for what  happen next. Only two things occurred in my mind; life or dead. Suddenly,a warm hand pulled me backwards. I fell onto the ground. I quickly turned my head to see who had saved me. Unfortunately,it was too late as the Lamborghini had already hit the person. I  could hear the screeching sound from the accident. I searched for the victim. My mouth flew open as I saw it. I stupor tried to accept the reality in front of me.

                                No!NO!.....it’s just only dream. A horrible nightmare.

                                NO!NO! …… It is not her.

I quickly rushed towards her.

        “Qisthina…..Qisthina…….Oh my god!Can  you hear me?”The red blood flowed from every part of her body. I searched for every sign of life but failed.  I  cried as loudly as I could and hugged the red body tightly. But suddenly a miracle happened when the same warm hand touched my fluffy cheek. I looked at her face and quickly grabbed her hand. I could see that she strieve so hard to speak to me.

        “Rekha,…….I’m very…….very……sorry…..for……what …..I’ve ……..done ……..done……to…….you……” she strieved so hard to speak to me. I couldn’t bare to see her like that.

        “Qisthina …… sssshhhh……don’t say anything ok? You ….you have to be strong.”I tried to clear up my throat and controlled my emotion.

        “No…. Rekha …I ….. I ……need to…… finish……up …… this ……. problem.” She paused for a moment as she collected all her strength to speak up.

She continued again. “ Thanks…… Thanks…..for……being……my friends……! I…….. never ……have …….a good…… friend…..like……you in……..this……world…..!”I could see she smile at me eventhough she looked so fatigue, lost all of her energy. I couldn’t do anything anymore for her.

          “I… know…. that….. you’re……a good…..singer….. right?” she still streghten her spirit to talk to me.

          “Can….. you….. sing….. me…… a…… song?” I just nodded and agreed with her wishes.

          “SING…. Our ……favourite……song….k?” I was so sad when she talk to me like that. I  tried to calm down my emotion and feeling. This was our favourite song and meaningful to us. We always sang this song together but now I lost my partner to sing this song together. While I sang that song, I could feel that her hand slowly dropped to the ground. I called her over and over again but she unconscious. I hugged her tightly and screamed as loudly as I could for her name. I  prayed to god to give another chance to be with her and to appreciate her as my friends.

 “QISTHINAAAAAAAA…………………”

*                *                 *                 *                   *                     *                   *                 *                

That’s the history of our friendship. Until now I still mourned her passing. I couldn’t believe that she  no longer in this world. I couldn’t accept it. But now I realize that she always with me. To find a true friend is so hard because it only come once in our life. We have to appreciate every person in our life as a process to find a true friend.

                   “DEATH ENDS A LIFE,BUT NOT A RELATIONSHIP”

                                                                                                   Jack Lemmon

I always hold on to this proverbs.there is nothing that can break our friendship,Qisthina. I hope that will still remember our song.

                  What you mean to me

Can't blame you, for thinking That you never really knew me at all I tried to, deny you But nothing ever made me feel so wrong I thought I was protecting you From everything that I go through But I know that we got lost along the way Here I am, with all my heart I hope you understand I know I let you down But I'm never gonna make That mistake again You brought me closer To who I really am Come take my hand I want the world to see What you mean to me What you mean to me Just know that, I'm sorry I never wanted to make you feel so small A story is, just beginning We'll let the truth break down these walls Oh, yeah, yeah And every time I think of you I think of how you pushed me through And showed me how much better I could be Here I am, with all my heart I hope you understand I know I let you down But I'm never gonna make That mistake again

You brought me closer To who I really am Come take my hand I want the world to see What you mean to me Yeah, yeah You make me feel like I'm myself Instead of being someone else I wanna live that everyday You say what no one else will say You know exactly how to get to me You know it's what I need It's what I need Yeah Here I am, with all my heart I hope you understand (I hope you understand) I know I let you down But I'm never gonna make That mistake again You brought me closer To who I really am So, come take my hand I want the world to see What you mean to me What you mean to me                                        *Sterling Knight (starstruck)

Thanks a lot my friends……

May Allah bless your soul…..

Al-Fatihah……

           

Bismillahhirrahmanirrahim...
Assalamualaikum wbt....
 
 Haish... dah berabad tak update blog ni.. dah berkurun jugaklah...
sori sebab citer utk siri satu tergantung.. biarkan ia tergantung.. menunggu angin sepoi-sepoi bahasa menyapanya... cewaaah... hahahhaha...
untuk siri 2 cerita Memoir ni... insya Allah... akan disiapkan pada akhir bulan 6 nanti...
thanks a lot for your support.. ;)... i'll try my best k...

for this,,, suddenly it's pop up into my mind...
first because of Gaza situation...
second because i watch movie regarding to eradicate war.. warfare.. whatsoeverlah...
what the hell man????

and this is for Israel ... sorry...sebab tak adalah sehebat mana atau sesedap mana pun... hahaha...
read and weep... ;)

                          PAIN...
Desolate skies has been cried for a century...
tormented with those cruelity done by the human...
Even the beautiful purple ray vanished because of us...
Which gives us happiness and excitement...
Through our life...
Once upon a time...
But now..
Nothing left...
People died in every single hours and minutes...
Who did it????
WHO????
Us,,, the answer is from us...
We never wanted to understand each other...
We never wanted to love each other...
The only t5hing that we care about is ourselves...
Selfish... Greedy... Egoistic...
Sick of it... What the hell is going on???
Don't ... Don't try to put a blame on eradicate war.. warfare...
But us...
All the single point is starting from us...
Let me ask you something...
Where us the vivid scent of harmony???
Where is the serene scout of the world???
Where is it????
I know you won't be able to answer it..
Don't smirked to the other face,,,
don't sighed because you can't find the answer....
Don't look around to search the answer,,,,
Because the answer....
From you...
From your heart...

pray from us to Gaza...

BAB EMPAT PULUH

YANA menemani Irina kembali ke hostel. Keadaannya yang sedikit lemah membuatkannya diam membisu sahaja.Yana pula perlahan-lahan mengekori di sebelahnya. Diminta juga untuk memapah sahabatnya itu, namun ditolak oleh gadis itu. Sesekali keseimbangannya tergugah menyebabkan dia terjatuh , tetapi cepat-cepat disambut oleh sahabatnya.Itu pun ditolak baik oleh Irina dan dia sendiri menguatkan semangatnya untuk menyambungkan perjalanan.

      “ Rina, are you sure you don’t want me to help you?” Niat baik gadis itu hanya disambut dengan senyuman oleh Irina. Yana hanya mengeluh kasar sedikit. Risau melihat keadaan sahabatnya itu. Akhirnya, dia tidak mampu bertahan lagi. Tidak tegar hatinya melihat keadaan gadis itu. Segera dia merangkul kasar pingang Irina dan memapahnya balik ke hostel yang berada yang tidak berapa jauh lagi.

Irina pula terkejut  dengan perlakuan sahabatnya itu,tetapi dia tidak berdaya lagi untuk melawan kehendak gadis itu. Dia sememangnnya tahu akan perasaan Yana yang risaukannya, tetapi kalau boleh dia tidak mahu membebankan sahabatnya ini. Banyak pengorbanan yang dilakukan yang tidak mungkin mampu dibalas.

Yana membantu Irina melabuhkan punggung di atas katilnya. Kala ini, semua pelajar masih lagi menghadiri prep malam. Jam pula baru sahaja menunjukkan pukul 10 malam. Lebih kurang sejam lagi sebelum mereka pulang. Oleh itu, dorm tersebut sunyi sepi.

Lantas Yana menyingsing baju di lengan gadis itu. perlahan-lahan dia membuka balutan tersebut. Irina pula hanya mendiamkan diri kerana kesakitan yang perlu ditanggungnya. Yana pula sedikit terkejut dengan keadaan lengan gadis itu yang semakin membengkak. Dia memandang ke mata sahabatnya itu.

       “ Tak pelah Yana,bengkak biasa jer,” mendengar kata-kata yang diluahkan sahabatnya itu membuatkan Yana meneruskan kerjanya. Dia membuka loker Irina, mengambil ubat yang terletak kemas di satu sudut. Kemudian, dia menyapu krim  ke atas lengan yang membengkak.

       “ Sakit lagi tak?” gadis itu bertanya selajur selesai kerjanya.Irina hanya tersenyum hambar kemudian dia mengangguk perlahan. Yana membantu Irina menukar baju kemudian menghulurkan ubat buat sahabatnya itu. Selesai sahaja ubat dimakan, Irina segera meletakkan kepalanya ke bantal dan melelapkan matanya. Yana pula sedia menunggu di sebelah gadis itu.

     “ Rina, aku nak ambil barang-barang kau kat kelas tau.Kau bolehkan tunggu kat sini kejap,” Irina hanya mengangguk perlahan mendengar permintaan sahabatnya itu.Yana mengusap lembut dahi gadis itu sebelum berlalu pergi. Dia akan kembali secepat mungkin.

ANGIN yang dingin membelai lembut wajah lelaki itu di tepi tingkap, namun itu tidak memberikan sebarang kesan pada lelaki itu. Riak mukanya menggambarkan kerisauan yang teramat sangat. Sesekali terdengar keluhan yang terlepas menerusi rengkulan nafasnya. Seperti menyesakkan dada, menghimpit jiwa.

Kehadiran Yana menyentakkan sedikit perilaku lelaki itu. Segera dia bingkas bangun menghampiri gadis yang sedang sibuk mengemas barang-barang yang berselerakan di atas meja. Sahabat yang berada berhampiran hanya mengeluh lemah apabila menyedari perilaku lelaki yang tidak keruan itu.

      “ Yana, Rina macam mana?” Pertanyaan yang begitu mendadak mengejutkan gadis itu dari kerjanya. Selajur itu juga dia memalingkan wajahnya ke belakang. Untuk kedua kalinya, dia terkejut apabila melihat Malik dan Zaidi berada di belakang gadis itu.  Ditambah pula dengan mimik muka Zaidi yang kelihatan tidak terurus. Dia berkalih memandang Malik meminta penjelasan yang sewajarnya, tetapi lelaki itu hanya mengangkat bahu tanda dia sendiri tidak mengetahui apa yang bermain di jiwa sahabatnya itu

     “ Dia okay jer. Just her hand slightly worst,” jawapan yang diberikan oleh gadis di hadapannya itu tidak juga melembutkan kerutan di wajahnya.

     “ Habis tu dia tak pergi ‘metran’ ke?” Diasak lagi persoalan kepada gadis itu. Yana hanya memandang kembali pandangannya pada Malik. Pelik dengan perangai lelaki itu yang sedikit pelik itu.

     “ Selama kau tinggal sini empat tahunlah, ada tak mak cik yang jaga hostel tu pernah tak dia ‘act’ baik kat kita walaupun kita ni sakit macam nak mati,” keterangan yang diberikan memberikan sedikit tamparan kepada mereka berdua. Masing-masing hanya menundukkan wajah. Ada benarnya kata gadis itu.Mungkin itulah yang menyebabkan Irina lebih rela menahan kesakitan daripada menghadap mak cik yang menjaga hostel mereka yang seperti singa hilang anak itu.

     “ Sorry. Aku tak patut kutuk sekolah ni. Walau macam mana pun ni tetap sekolah akukan,” terhembus keluhan dari dadanya. Untuk kesekian kalinya, suasana di sekeliling senyap seketika. Masing-masing hanya menguncikan bicara. Yana kembali menyelesaikan kerja yang masih lagi tertangguh.

     “ Tapikan, aku pelik sikit dengan kau nilah, Zaidi. Sepanjang beberapa bulan aku kawan dengan kau ni, kau tak pernah pun macam ni. Pasal Rina ke, kau jadi tak tentu arah ni?” Pertanyaan tersebut bagaikan panah yang menembusi jauh ke dalam hatinya. Tepat kesasarannya.  Malik di belakang gadis itu mengangguk laju tanda mengiakan kata-kata gadis itu.

Lantas, lelaki itu mengangkat wajah memandang Yana yang masih lagi sibuk dengan kerjanya. Rona mukanya tampak kemerah-merahan itu menimbulkan geli hati Yana dan Malik.

     “ Cakap jelah yang kau suka dia. Habis cerita,” Yana mencuba lagi membongkar rahsia hati rakannya itu.

     “ Mana adalah. Stop talking about the nonsense thing, can you?” Zaidi mencuba untuk mengwal keadaan sekeliling.

     “ Zaidi, tak payahlah nak malu-malu. Peluang dah ada dah ni,tinggal nak cakap jer. Zaidi suka Rina,” usikan Malik yang sedari tadi membisukan diri menambahkan lagi rona warna pada muka lelaki itu. Yana di hadapannya hanya tertawa kecil melihat gelagat dua sahabat ini.

     “ Cakap jelah…Muka dah  merah dah tu,” menggelabah dibuatnya lelaki ini.

    “ Aku….aku….” Kali ini kedua-dua  sahabatnya memfokuskan pandangan mereka pada Zaidi. Masing-masing menunggu jawapan lelaki itu. Yana yang sedari tadi sibuk dengan kerjanya terhenti apabila mendengar Zaidi bersuara. Lagilah tidak keruan jadinya lelaki itu. Teragak-agak untuk menghabiskan ayat tersebut.

   “ Dahlah, forget it,” Zaidi berlalu pergi dengan segera. Meninggalkan kedua-dua sahabatnya itu kebingungan. Hanya saling berpandangan.

   “ Biasalah. Orang yang dah angau, memang macam tu,” Yana hanya mengangguk perlahan. Senyuman nakal terukir di bibirnya.

   “ Zaidi tu, tak pernah bercinta. Sekali dah kena penangannya, tak tau macam mana nak ‘control’,”

   “ Dalam hati ada tamanlah,” serentak itu mereka tertawa.

BAB TIGA PULUH SEMBILAN

MALAM itu Zaidi dan Irina menjalankan amanah yang telah diberikan untuk menghantar setiap ‘request’ ke kelas yang telah ditetapkan.  Suasana sekeliling sunyi sepi dan pasangan itu juga hanya mendiamkan diri. Tiada perkataan yang dikeluarkan oleh mereka berdua. Hanya derapan kaki sahaja yang kedengaran menghiasi suasana yang sunyi itu.

     “ Rina, tangan kau ok tak?” Barulah kini Zaidi membuka bicara. Rina hanya mengangguk perlahan sebagai jawapannya. Namun, anggukan tersebut tidak menggambarkan isi hatinya kala ini. Tangannya tiba-tiba terasa sakit menyebabkan dia terpaksa menahan kesakitan yang  menjalar di segenap urat darahnya.

 Zaidi memandang ke arah gadis itu.Kalau nak diikutkan gadis di sebelahnya bukanlah gadis yang pasif dan pendiam. Hari-harinya di sini dihiasi dengan keceriaan,tetapi hari ini tidak pula. Irina menyedari paa yang berlaku di sekelilingnya segera mengalihkan pandangannya ke sisi. Lelaki itu terus-terusan memandangnya. Irina hanya tersenyum kelat. Bukan dia sengaja meminggirkan diri tetapi kesakitan yang dialaminya barangkali membataskan gadis itu untuk banyak bicara.

Wajah yang pucat diselangi dengan senyuman yang hambar terukir di bibir, menambahkan lagi rasa hairan yang mula bertandang di hati kecil lelaki ini.Berkerut juga mukanya dalam dia mengamati wajah kecil gadis itu. Tidak selesa apabila diperlakukan sebegitu rupa, Irina segera mengalihkan pandangannya ke hadapan. Saat ini barulah Zaidi mengerti keadaan Irina.

     “ Aku tengok berat je barang yang kau bawa tu. Can you give me some?” permintaan lelaki itu di sambut segera oleh Irina. Dia menghulurkan timbunan kertas di atas tangan kanannya yang tidak sakit.

      “ Lain kali cakaplah awal-awal. Baru sekarang kau cakap,” serentak mereka tertawa kecil. Irina cuba menyembunyikan keadaannya kala ini.Zaidi menyambut gumpalan kertas tersebut sambil tersenyum.

Akhirnya mereka tiba ke kelas yang dituju.  4 Al Farghani. Suasana di kelas tersebut sunyi sepi berbeza berbanding dengan kelas Irina. Masing-masing sibuk dengan tugasan yang diberikan. Irina hanya menunggu di luar sahaja. Membiarkan Zaidi yang menguruskan selebihnya. Zaidi tidak pula memaksa kerana dia tahu keadaan gadis itu.

Kasakitannya menjalar-jalar lagi di segenap ruang urat darahnya. Mencucuk-cucuk rasanya. Sesekali terasa lenguh lengan kirinya itu namun, ditahan jua. Berkerut juga mukanya menahan kesakitan tersebut.

Rasylan yang baru sahaja pulang kembali ke kelasnya berasa pelik dengan gelagat Irina. Perlahan-lahan dia menghampiri gadis itu.

     “Rina….” Irina sedikit terkejut dengan sapaan sahabatnya itu. Dia semacam mengenali suara itu. Irina memaniskan roman mukanya walaupun itu merupakan perkara yang sia-sia sahaja. Dia menoleh ke belakang. Menawarkan senyuman yang paling manis buat sahabatnya itu.

      “ Rasylan…” panggil Irina perlahan. Mencuba sedaya upaya menyembunyikan keadaannya kala ini. Tetapi Rasylan tidak mudah tertipu. Dia tahu keadaan gadis itu. Lambat-lambat dia berjalan menghampiri Irina. gadis itu hanya terdiam di situ.

     “ Tangan kau sakit lagikan? Muka kau yang pucat macam ni, kau ingat boleh tipu akulah?” Irina hanya terkelu lidah, lantas dia menundukkan wajah ke bawah. Kalau berhadapan dengan lelaki ini memang susah dia hendak melepaskan diri. Seketika kemudian,Rasylan hanya menggelengkan kepalanya.

     “ Lepas ni kau balik hostel terus tau. Rehat,” Irina hanya mengangguk perlahan mendengar saranan sahabatnya itu. Tertunduk wajahnya memandang ke lantai. Tidak berani bertentang muka dengan lelaki itu.

     “ Rina, jom balik,” suara Zaidi menyentakkan  mereka berdua. Namun, Rasylan tetap pada posisinya. Tidak berganjak sedikit pun. Irina hanya memandang kedua-dua lelaki itu dengan pandangan yang silih berganti. Mereka bertiga seperti patung yang digam tepat pada posisinya.Detik demi detik berlalu, barulah Rasylan mengeluh panjang dan berlalu pergi.

Perlahan-lahan Irina melangkah menghampiri Zaidi dan seiring itu juga mereka berjalan menuju kembali ke kelas. Tiada perbualan mengiringi perjalanan mereka. Kesakitan yang dialami oleh gadis itu nampaknya bertambah lagi. Cubaan untuk menahannya tidak juga mampu. Akhirnya, Irina terhenti melangkah menyebabkan langkah lelaki di sebelahnya terhenti mendadak. Segera lelaki itu menoleh ke arah Irina yang terduduk memegangang tangannya yang berbalut. Wajahnya tertunduk menahan kesakitan. Lekas Zaidi menghampiri gadis itu, risau dengan keadaan yang dialami oleh Irina.

      “ Rina, are you okay?” Jelas terpancar kegusaran  melalui nada suaranya. Gadis itu hanya mendiamkan diri menambahkan lagi kerisauan di hati. Untuk beberapa ketika Zaidi hanya setia di sisi gadis itu.

Irina mencuba sedaya upaya untuk menahan kesakitan yang semakin mencengkam lengannya kala ini. Barulah kini dia terasa lega sedikit,namun kesakitan itu tidak hilang. Perlahan-lahan dia bangun. Sempat juga dia manawarkan senyuman hambar buat lelaki itu. Lambat-lambat kakinya melangkah meneruskan perjalanan yang masih lagi tertangguh.

Zaidi pula hanya mengekori di belakang gadis itu. Takut juga kalau gadis itu jatuh pengsan. Ditambah pula dengan lalulan yang mereka lalui itu agak lengang dari orang ramai memandangkan ianya jauh daripada kelas. Kagum melihat semangat gadis itu. Tidak pernah mengalah.

YANA  yang baru pulang dari menyelesaikan amanah yang diberikan terkejut melihat keadaan Irina dari arah bertentangan. Meninggalkan Malik keseorangan di belakang dan segera gadis itu berlari ke arah sahabatnya itu. Zaidi dan Malik hanya memandang antara satu sama lain. Irina hanya menawarkan senyuman yang kusam kepada Yana. Melihat sahaja keadaan sahabatnya itu,dia segera merangkul pinggang Irina. Membantu memapah Irina.

     “ Yana… Stop it. Aku boleh jalan sendiri,” Irina menolak lembut hasrat baik rakannnya itu. Yana pula memandang Irina dengan seribu satu persoalan. Sekali lagi dia hanya tersenyum. Mahu atau tidak terpaksalah Yana mengikut kehendak Irina itu.

Yana meletakkan telapak tangannya pada dahi gadis itu. “ Rina, kau demamlah,” kerisauan jelas terpancar menerusi nada suaranya.

     “ Yana, trust me that I’m okay,” Irina segera melangkah masuk ke dalam kelas. Yana hanya memandang sayu ke arah sahabatnya itu. Irina memang seorang yang degil. Keputusannya memang tidak boleh disangkal. Dia hanya mengeluh kasar mengenangkan pernagai Irina itu.

Zaidi dan Malik hanya berdiam di situ menyaksikan drama yang dipertontonkan di hadapan mereka. Yana kembali berkala\ih kepada mereka berdua. Kemudian menetapkan pandangannya pada Zaidi.

       “ Zaidi, Rina macam mana tadi?” Persoalan tersebut yang diselangi dengan kerutan wajah di muka membuatkan Zaidi kembali  memandang Malik disisinya.

        “ Rina, dia hampir je ‘collapse’ kat tengah jalan tadi,”  Zaidi terpaksa juga memberitahu perkara sebenar. Yana tergamam mendengar penjelasan yang diberikan kepadanya. Bertambahlah lagi kerutn di dahinya. Malik juga begitu. Gadis itu segera berlalu pergi meninggalkan mereka berdua tanpa sebarang bicara. Sekali lagi mereka saling berpandangan.

Malik berterusan memandang lelaki itu. Ternyata dia terkejut mendengar apa yang diutarakan menerusi mulut Zaidi.

      “ Tak payahlah pandang aku cam tu,” Malas hendak melayan kerenah sahabatnya itu, dia segera melangkah masuk ke dalam kelas. Letih hendak menjawab pelbagai persoalan yangbakal timbul sebentar sahaja lagi. Jadi sebelum terkena bisanya, lebih baik mencari penawarnya. Malik pula segera mengejarnya dan merangkul bahu Zaidi.

      “ Amacam seronok tak?” Zaidi hanya menggelengkan kepalanya. Sakit kepala memikirkan gelagat Malik ini. Tiada kata-kata yang terluah dari mulut lelaki itu membuatkan lelaki di sebelahnya mengeluh panjang,namun begitu dia tidak berputus asa. Mengasak lagi Zaidi untuk menjawab persoalan yang diajukan. Tetapi Zaidi hanya mendiamkan diri meneruskan langkahnya ke kelas.