Ramadhan bakal je menjelma... yup.. tomorrow is the first of Ramdhan.. ( kinda excited...) and sure enough... the weather is quite good for melah... yes,,, today we gonna discussing about weather.. ya.. whatever.. cara bercakap pun macam cikgu sekolah kan...
Jelebu sekarang ni tengah hujan.. for the whole week... and i would admit that i love this weather.. seriously.. i love this weather.. even bella swan tak suka hujan... but Edward like it.. yelah.. ramai yang cakap yang bila hujan je memang tak produktif langsung rasanya nak study and nak buat kerja... tahu nak tidur je.. ya.. i couldn'e deny it... but still i love it... dan hujan jugaklah yang mengingatkan saya tentang memori yang ada di kuantan.. i love Kuantan so much... whereby... for the whole month.. hujan tak berhenti dari pagi sampai petang.. and dia punya sejuk.... memang tak boleh nak cakaplah.. especially it's morning... menggigil nak masuk bilik air... nak mandi ape semua.... even in the afternoon also.. you have to wear a sweater because it's damn toooooooo cold.... freaking cold... macam winter jugaklah.. haha...
and thanks to this weather... i've come out with my new poem... menggigil jugaklah nak menulis... menulis dalam blanket.. haha... this is my favourite poem from the other poem... dan poem ni pun dah di masukkan ke dalam my first novel for the finale... enjoy.. teeheee...
Rains…
I lifted my head into
the sky….
To see the beautiful
rainbow…
Scarlet throughout the
world….
My heart escalating…
When clouds mould into
your face..
Pouring rain…
A beautiful sweet of
sounds…
It may become a
disaster..
Swipe away my life…
Become an empty bowl…
And start something
new…
Pouring rain..
Give hope and trust to
recover,,,
It feels like
everything become better…
Cause I’m thinking
about you jever,,,
Be my side forever…
I need you closer…
Once I had lost you…
I don’t want to lose
you anymore…
Burden my heart like a
thousand knife stab my back…
we'll be discussing about 'DREAMS'.. Lah.. bunyi terasa macam buat forum pulak... ok.. just leave it alone.. I believe that, everyone has their own dreams... tak kisahlah kita ni siapa, sesiapa jelah kut... tak kisahlah kita ni pelajar ke ataupun budak kecik... mak cik-mak cik yang ada kat rumah... pak cik-pakcik yang sanggup membanting tulang nak carik sesuap nasi untuk keluarganya kat rumah... semuanya ada impian dan harapan. semua nak harapan yang mereka create akan terkabul satu hari nanti...
My dreams??? hehehe.. tak payahlah kut tahu... tapi bila contohnya sesuatu halangan itu berlaku yang menyebabkan kita ni sesak nadfas nak bangun balik, nak kejar balik apa yang kita nak... kita dah pun mengalah... dengan alasan..' dah ini yang ALLAH dah tetapkan untuk kita. tak ada rezekilah kut untuk aku dapat...' huish... belum berusaha kita dah cakap macam ni.. tak bermaksud yang apabila kita menyerahkan sesuatu urusan pada ilahi.. kita serahkan membuta tuli.. buta-buta je tanpa sebarang usaha... come on guys.. Allah wants to see our hard work on something not the result....
So.. bila kita ada impian.. dan kita percaya yang kita 'deserve it', never ever give up.. kalau dia lari kita kejar sampailah kita dapat.. orang yang betul-betul berjaya dan dapat apa yang mereka nak, takkan biarkan ada satu 'hole' pun lubang 'oppurtunity' yang dia akan biarkan... ambik je apa saja yang ada kat depan mata.. berjuang sampai hujung pernafasan... dan insya ALLAH kita akan dapat... sebabnya... saya sendiri sedang berusaha untuk mencapai apa yang saya nak... saya pernah jatuh tersungkur... saya pernah menangis.. meratap apa yang akan berlaku nanti,,, kalau impian tak capai... susah nanti nak lepaskan sesuatu yang kita sayang.. tapi bila ada kawan yang bersama-sama dengan saya... itu yang buatkan saya kuat... simple enough...Remember that, ALLAH always with us... beside us and everywhere... He's watching us... and he will help us... Don't stop believing...
Due to this situation.. this poem.. pop up in my mind...
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?
My hearts keep pounding...
Keep thinking what will happen next...
What am i supposed to do?
I closed my eyes...
Send a prayer and hope that it's gonna be ok...
What will you do when you think that you're good...
But it wasn't good enough...
When your dreams now scattered...
When your faith shattered...
I will do everything...
Everything to get it right...
Face it loser!!!!!!!!!
Just be brave and strong to get through this...
it's hurt and it's painful... ( I know)
When everyone give an expectation on you..
What am i supposed to do...
Every night turns to nightmare..
challenge me to carry on my life...
But it's to painful...
My tears will tell you everything...
What exactly am i supposed to do?
Just don't give up...
Don't let your dreams just a dream...
Try to make it real...
Make people see how much effort you put to change your faith...
assalamualaikum...
It's been a long time tak update blog.. i know that.. tapi saya bukanlah blogger yang aktif... kut kalau ada masa and ada mood barulah terasa nak tulis macam-macam kat dalam ni....
Tujuan saya untuk blog ni senang je.. saya nak karya yang saya siarkan kat dalam blog ni, mampu nak bagi inspirasi kepada orang lain,,, nak bagi mereka sedar yang sememangnya diri kitalah yang patut menghargai.. bukan nak mengharapkan orang lain untuk menghargai kita...
Dan karya yang saya create bukanlah untuk orang puji dan bukannlah untuk orang bayar pada saya....
that's because i love to write... i love to inspire the other people... through my story... sebab saya teringat kata-kata Steve Jobs... do something that you love.. then.. you'll feel the satisfaction... puas kalau kita buat sebab minat dan kita suka.. dan kita takkan puas kalau kita buat sesuatu perkara itu dengan terpaksa or sebab power atau pun kaya...
Hope that you'll enjoy my writing... i know that i'm not good enough.. but i'm still learning...
p/s: Karya Memoir yang disiarkan sebelum ni, alhamdulillah,, dah saya siapkan bulan lepas.. cuma saya tak siarkan lagi kat sini.. fully edited... dan tak sama dengan yang saya siarkan kat blog ni...
Rise and shine... smile... because it is beautiful... indeed... thanks a lot.. love ya...
I had already wrote this story when I still in Form 4... my first short story that i've ever made... time goes by without any mercy... whether or not we still need it... use it wisely and procuring... but.. we're human.. to fool... never think that we need more time..badly.... and we need someone who we can share everything... who can we talk to them...
FRIENDSHIP... which ties us.. to learn about everything in this world....
when this bonding appear,,, we never regret any moment with them,,, cause it is your soul....
read and weep...
THE COLOUR OF FRIENDSHIP
I could feel the air around me was so cold
that it slowly seeped into my
spine.It seem the world around me were shaking vigorously trying to push me
down.My heart suffocated. Where am I? Was this the reality or fantasy? Someone
please wake me up.Wake me up from this nightmare!
“In the name of Allah, themost gracious and merciful……” one by one the
word crossed into my eardrum.
“You’ll be asked with Munkar and
Nakirwho is it yourgod? Therefore answer it asAllah is your god. Then you’ll be asked what
is your religion? Answer it as Islam is your religion….”
I could feel my eyes sprang and
suddenly without my desire it’s burst into tears.I couldn’t control my emotion.
My body shuddered.selena quickly grabbed me and I cried under her shoulder.
“Rekha please calm down. It is
not nice if you do …….you do like this.”Selena tried to calm me down but I knew
that she was trying to control herself. I could feel that her voice trembled as
she tried to clear up her throat.
I couldn’t say anything.Full of
chagrin,torment and terror fill up in my heart after she left ushere.
********
“If
someone is always beside us through thick and thin,who isit to us?If that person is so special and
valuable in this world why do we do like that? – F.R.I.E.N.D- that the correct
answer. For your information, friend play an important role throughout our life
especially in our teenager’s stage nowadays. Friend……..”I
quickly closed that book. I didn’t believe it. For 13 years I breathed in this
world I didn’t have any friends.
I was so afraid to befriend with anybody.
That was my problem. So hard for me to relate with others. I threw my gaze
outside.The sun was glimmering across the surrounding. It was a peaceful and
serene scenery that I had ever felt.I closed my eyes and Icould feel the soft breeze touched my face.
It was so calm.
“Stand up class…..Good morning
teacher!”Amar’s voice filled up the entire classroom. All the students
immediately got up from their seats and followed the instruction.
“Good morning class.Please sit
down.!”with her broad smile, Mrs Sayani invited us to sit down.
“Ok…Class. Today we have a new member.
Please come in!” a mysterious looking person was standing behind the door. A
thin girl with a heart shape face and a short bob of a hairstyle slowly paced
into the class. Mrs Sayani grabbed her shoulder and turned her to us in front
of the class.
“Can you introduce yourself?” Mrs
Sayani whispered into her ear. Slowly she nodded an lifted her face to us. The
class went silent for a while, waiting for that mysterious person to talk.
Shehesitated but after a moment she
began to talk.
“Mmm…. Hello! My name is Qisthina
Elyana Roslan. Nice to meet you guys. I live at taman rasah jaya. I hope that
you’llteach me about this school. I
think that’s all from me. Thank you.”I couldn’t deny that her voice was so
cute. Something weird grew in my heart. There was something special about her
that I wanted to know.
“Qisthina you may take your seat beside
Rekha. Rekha ,please raise up your hand so that Qisthina will recognize you.” I
was stunned for a while trying to absorb what had happen. Qisthina would sit
beside me! The person that I wanted to know briefly. My heart began to beat so
fast.
“Rekha…… Rekha …….Can you raise your
hand?” Mrs Sayani yelled towards me. Claustrophobia filled the surrounding. I
quickly turned my head to the sources and after a while I raised my hand. I
could feel that the entire class were staring at me. Thenew girl slowly paced towards me and she
pulled the chair and sat down.I was so anxious at that time. I was speechless
at that time and that was an exotic thing happen to me.
And that’s how our friendship began.
“Hye,my name is Qisthina. Yah….. I’ve
already introduce myself actually just now. Nice to meet you. Bythe way,what is your name?” She extended her
hand as an introduction for our friendship. Her smile made everyone of us
tempted because it was such a beautiful smile . I froze in my place for a while.
“Hello……” She paused. She waved her
hand in front of me.
“Are you okay?”she continuously
waved her hand tried to wake me up frommy dream. I stuttered as she did that.
“Ohh…I’m sorry… Yah, Mmmm……my name
is Rekha. Mmmm…..nice…..nice to meet you!” what happen to me? I didn’t know I
was stammering. I tried to swallow back the butterflies in my throat.no one
greeted me like that. It was a weird thing in my life. I quickly grabbed her
hand as an agreement to startthis friendship.
“You’re so cute!” she giggled.
Totally, she had a beautiful smile. I could see her golden eyes turned to
scarlet. The only thing that I could say about her was she was almost perfect.
Year by year, month by month, week
by week, day by day, I didn’trealize
that we had already been together for 4 years. Now we were in form 5. Icould tell that she had the same behavior
liked me. We are liked soulmate. I could not deny that many people envy us. But
for me , truefriendship is always like that. Thatis how our life begin. Sometimes there is a
sad moment and sometimes also there is a happy moment. By hook or by crook,we
have to accept it right? AAll the test come from Allah to see whether we are
strong enough to face this life or not.
That’s the definition of life.
Eventhough there were a lot of
obstacles,we faced it together. That made me strong . Thatalsomade
me understand how the cycle of life was and knew most of the people. I admitted
that before this I never thought and knew about this until I met her. She
always taught me something new about life. Unfortunately,that day changed
everything.
I were so busy to finish up my
chemistry homework. The chair beside me was still empty and I wonder where
Qisthina was. I gazed at her place tried to search for any memo she left for
me, but failed. She was never like that. Everytime, she went somewhere,she
would tell me first and give a memo for me but this time there was nothing from
her.
“Maybe she has an important task to
do.” I murmured under my breath. Honestly, an uneasy feeling rose in my heart
but I ignored it. I just ignored it and continued with my work. Suddenly, Leah
approached me and greeted me .
“Hye Rekha! What are you doing?” Leah
asked me enthuasiasthically.I could
feel that something weird about her. She never greeted me like that.
“Don’t stare at me like that!” Her
face changed immediately. I didn’t realize that I frowned at her.
“Ohh….I’m sorry! Mmm…..why do you ask
me like that?”I asked her with my pokerface. She flushed ,full of anger.
“Nothing! Someone give you this .” She
handed me a letter and without wasting any time I took it from her. I could see
my name written on it. So tidy and beautiful permanshipand I knew who it was actually.
“Thanks Leah!”
“Yah…..Welcome!” She walked away
immediately. I quickly opened the letter like I didn’t have a chance to inhale.
Dear
Rekha,
Please
meet me this evening,3.00 p.m at the TunkuKurshiahgarden. There is an
urgent thing to discuss.
From,
( QISTHINA)
Anurgent thing? What it is actually? I could
feel that that something had happened. But what it is? I gazed at my watch. 5
minutes to 3 o’clock. Without wasting any time I tidied up all the thing and
packed it into my bagpack. I quickly grabbed my bag and rushed to my
destination. At the same time also my heart was beating so fast. I could feel that my baroreceptor send a message
to the medulla oblongata to reduce my heart beat and controlled my emotion.
I already reached my destination. From a
far,I could see her standing besides the pool waiting for me. I quickly rushed
to her.
“Qisthina!”I called her. I stopped beside
her. She turned her face to me and I could see that her face was so awful. What
had happened to her?
“Qisthina, what had happened to you?” My
voice trembled as I was too worried about her.
“Nothing!Rekha, may I ask you something
?”Now I could see her face flushed. Full of anger.
“Yah, what it is?”I replied with a weird
tone as I needed an explanation in this situation.
She frowned at me. “Itis true that you told everybody that I’m a
materialistic person. And that’s also my main agenda to be friend with you.” I
was stunned for a while trying to absorb the statement . Materialistic…….
Agenda…….. It was such an insane thing ever. I never said that.
After a moment, I understood. I sighed.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. After a moment, I opened up my eyes
and looked into her deep blue eyes.
“Qisthina, I think you knowthat all of this thing only a slanders. This
is a fake accusation,Qisthina! How many times have we faced it? I know that you
know me better than anyone right? Let me recall it back to you.Before I met you, I never had any friends and
you’re the only friend I have. You’re the only one,Qisthina. You’re the only
one!” She turned her face away from me and I could see her eyes sprang. I could
feel my voice was trembling as I tried to control my emotion. A clear water
flowed slowly through my cheek but I quickly wiped it out.
“I’m so disappointed with you, Qisthina.
You never know me at all.”I quickly swung my body and moved away, leaving her
at the back. I crossed the road without looking first. The clear water
continuously flowed through my cheek. I quickly wiped it out. Suddenly, a fast
Lamborghini Alventador with 700hp per hour rushedtowards me. Ifroze in my place trying to brace myself for whathappen next. Only two things occurred in my
mind; life or dead. Suddenly,a warm hand pulled me backwards. I fell onto the
ground. I quickly turned my head to see who had saved me. Unfortunately,it was
too late as the Lamborghini had already hit the person. I could hear the screeching sound from the
accident. I searched for the victim. My mouth flew open as I saw it. I stupor
tried to accept the reality in front of me.
No!NO!.....it’s
just only dream. A horrible nightmare.
NO!NO! …… It is not her.
I quickly rushed towards her.
“Qisthina…..Qisthina…….Oh my god!Can you hear me?”The red blood flowed from every
part of her body. I searched for every sign of life but failed.I cried as loudly as I could and hugged the red
body tightly. But suddenly a miracle happened when the same warm hand touched
my fluffy cheek. I looked at her face and quickly grabbed her hand. I could see
that she strieve so hard to speak to me.
“Rekha,…….I’m
very…….very……sorry…..for……what …..I’ve ……..done ……..done……to…….you……” she
strieved so hard to speak to me. I couldn’t bare to see her like that.
“Qisthina …… sssshhhh……don’t say anything ok? You ….you have to be
strong.”I tried to clear up my throat and controlled my emotion.
“No…. Rekha …I ….. I ……need to……
finish……up …… this ……. problem.” She paused for a moment as she collected all
her strength to speak up.
She continued again. “ Thanks……
Thanks…..for……being……my friends……! I…….. never ……have …….a good……
friend…..like……you in……..this……world…..!”I could see she smile at me eventhough
she looked so fatigue, lost all of her energy. I couldn’t do anything anymore
for her.
“I… know…. that….. you’re……a good…..singer….. right?”
she still streghten her spirit to talk to me.
“Can….. you….. sing….. me…… a……
song?” I just nodded and agreed with her wishes.
“SING…. Our ……favourite……song….k?” I
was so sad when she talk to me like that. I tried to calm down my emotion and feeling.
This was our favourite song and meaningful to us. We always sang this song
together but now I lost my partner to sing this song together. While I sang
that song, I could feel that her hand slowly dropped to the ground. I called
her over and over again but she unconscious. I hugged her tightly and screamed
as loudly as I could for her name. Iprayed to god to give another chance to be with her and to appreciate
her as my friends.
“QISTHINAAAAAAAA…………………”
********
That’s the history of our
friendship. Until now I still mourned her passing. I couldn’t believe that
sheno longer in this world. I couldn’t
accept it. But now I realize that she always with me. To find a true friend is
so hard because it only come once in our life. We have to appreciate every
person in our life as a process to find a true friend.
“DEATH
ENDS A LIFE,BUT NOT A RELATIONSHIP”
Jack Lemmon
I always hold on to this
proverbs.there is nothing that can break our friendship,Qisthina. I hope that
will still remember our song.
Haish... dah berabad tak update blog ni.. dah berkurun jugaklah...
sori sebab citer utk siri satu tergantung.. biarkan ia tergantung.. menunggu angin sepoi-sepoi bahasa menyapanya... cewaaah... hahahhaha...
untuk siri 2 cerita Memoir ni... insya Allah... akan disiapkan pada akhir bulan 6 nanti...
thanks a lot for your support.. ;)... i'll try my best k...
for this,,, suddenly it's pop up into my mind...
first because of Gaza situation...
second because i watch movie regarding to eradicate war.. warfare.. whatsoeverlah...
what the hell man????
and this is for Israel ... sorry...sebab tak adalah sehebat mana atau sesedap mana pun... hahaha...
read and weep... ;)
PAIN...
Desolate skies has been cried for a century...
tormented with those cruelity done by the human...
Even the beautiful purple ray vanished because of us...
Which gives us happiness and excitement...
Through our life...
Once upon a time...
But now..
Nothing left...
People died in every single hours and minutes...
Who did it???? WHO????
Us,,, the answer is from us...
We never wanted to understand each other...
We never wanted to love each other...
The only t5hing that we care about is ourselves...
Selfish... Greedy... Egoistic...
Sick of it... What the hell is going on???
Don't ... Don't try to put a blame on eradicate war.. warfare...
But us...
All the single point is starting from us...
Let me ask you something...
Where us the vivid scent of harmony???
Where is the serene scout of the world???
Where is it????
I know you won't be able to answer it..
Don't smirked to the other face,,,
don't sighed because you can't find the answer....
Don't look around to search the answer,,,,
Because the answer....
From you...
From your heart...
YANA menemani Irina
kembali ke hostel. Keadaannya yang sedikit lemah membuatkannya diam membisu
sahaja.Yana pula perlahan-lahan mengekori di sebelahnya. Diminta juga untuk memapah
sahabatnya itu, namun ditolak oleh gadis itu. Sesekali keseimbangannya tergugah
menyebabkan dia terjatuh , tetapi cepat-cepat disambut oleh sahabatnya.Itu pun
ditolak baik oleh Irina dan dia sendiri menguatkan semangatnya untuk
menyambungkan perjalanan.
“ Rina, are you sure you don’t want me to
help you?” Niat baik gadis itu hanya disambut dengan senyuman oleh Irina. Yana
hanya mengeluh kasar sedikit. Risau melihat keadaan sahabatnya itu. Akhirnya,
dia tidak mampu bertahan lagi. Tidak tegar hatinya melihat keadaan gadis itu. Segera
dia merangkul kasar pingang Irina dan memapahnya balik ke hostel yang berada
yang tidak berapa jauh lagi.
Irina pula terkejut dengan perlakuan sahabatnya itu,tetapi dia
tidak berdaya lagi untuk melawan kehendak gadis itu. Dia sememangnnya tahu akan
perasaan Yana yang risaukannya, tetapi kalau boleh dia tidak mahu membebankan
sahabatnya ini. Banyak pengorbanan yang dilakukan yang tidak mungkin mampu
dibalas.
Yana membantu Irina
melabuhkan punggung di atas katilnya. Kala ini, semua pelajar masih lagi
menghadiri prep malam. Jam pula baru sahaja menunjukkan pukul 10 malam. Lebih kurang
sejam lagi sebelum mereka pulang. Oleh itu, dorm tersebut sunyi sepi.
Lantas Yana menyingsing
baju di lengan gadis itu. perlahan-lahan dia membuka balutan tersebut. Irina pula
hanya mendiamkan diri kerana kesakitan yang perlu ditanggungnya. Yana pula
sedikit terkejut dengan keadaan lengan gadis itu yang semakin membengkak. Dia
memandang ke mata sahabatnya itu.
“ Tak pelah Yana,bengkak biasa jer,” mendengar
kata-kata yang diluahkan sahabatnya itu membuatkan Yana meneruskan kerjanya.
Dia membuka loker Irina, mengambil ubat yang terletak kemas di satu sudut.
Kemudian, dia menyapu krim ke atas
lengan yang membengkak.
“
Sakit lagi tak?” gadis itu bertanya selajur selesai kerjanya.Irina hanya
tersenyum hambar kemudian dia mengangguk perlahan. Yana membantu Irina menukar
baju kemudian menghulurkan ubat buat sahabatnya itu. Selesai sahaja ubat
dimakan, Irina segera meletakkan kepalanya ke bantal dan melelapkan matanya.
Yana pula sedia menunggu di sebelah gadis itu.
“ Rina, aku nak ambil barang-barang kau
kat kelas tau.Kau bolehkan tunggu kat sini kejap,” Irina hanya mengangguk
perlahan mendengar permintaan sahabatnya itu.Yana mengusap lembut dahi gadis
itu sebelum berlalu pergi. Dia akan kembali secepat mungkin.
ANGIN yang dingin
membelai lembut wajah lelaki itu di tepi tingkap, namun itu tidak memberikan sebarang
kesan pada lelaki itu. Riak mukanya menggambarkan kerisauan yang teramat
sangat. Sesekali terdengar keluhan yang terlepas menerusi rengkulan nafasnya.
Seperti menyesakkan dada, menghimpit jiwa.
Kehadiran Yana
menyentakkan sedikit perilaku lelaki itu. Segera dia bingkas bangun menghampiri
gadis yang sedang sibuk mengemas barang-barang yang berselerakan di atas meja.
Sahabat yang berada berhampiran hanya mengeluh lemah apabila menyedari perilaku
lelaki yang tidak keruan itu.
“ Yana, Rina macam mana?” Pertanyaan yang
begitu mendadak mengejutkan gadis itu dari kerjanya. Selajur itu juga dia
memalingkan wajahnya ke belakang. Untuk kedua kalinya, dia terkejut apabila
melihat Malik dan Zaidi berada di belakang gadis itu. Ditambah pula dengan mimik muka Zaidi yang
kelihatan tidak terurus. Dia berkalih memandang Malik meminta penjelasan yang
sewajarnya, tetapi lelaki itu hanya mengangkat bahu tanda dia sendiri tidak
mengetahui apa yang bermain di jiwa sahabatnya itu
“ Dia okay jer. Just her hand slightly
worst,” jawapan yang diberikan oleh gadis di hadapannya itu tidak juga
melembutkan kerutan di wajahnya.
“ Habis tu dia tak pergi ‘metran’ ke?”
Diasak lagi persoalan kepada gadis itu. Yana hanya memandang kembali
pandangannya pada Malik. Pelik dengan perangai lelaki itu yang sedikit pelik
itu.
“
Selama kau tinggal sini empat tahunlah, ada tak mak cik yang jaga hostel tu
pernah tak dia ‘act’ baik kat kita walaupun kita ni sakit macam nak mati,”
keterangan yang diberikan memberikan sedikit tamparan kepada mereka berdua.
Masing-masing hanya menundukkan wajah. Ada benarnya kata gadis itu.Mungkin
itulah yang menyebabkan Irina lebih rela menahan kesakitan daripada menghadap
mak cik yang menjaga hostel mereka yang seperti singa hilang anak itu.
“ Sorry. Aku tak patut kutuk sekolah ni.
Walau macam mana pun ni tetap sekolah akukan,” terhembus keluhan dari dadanya.
Untuk kesekian kalinya, suasana di sekeliling senyap seketika. Masing-masing
hanya menguncikan bicara. Yana kembali menyelesaikan kerja yang masih lagi
tertangguh.
“ Tapikan, aku pelik sikit dengan kau
nilah, Zaidi. Sepanjang beberapa bulan aku kawan dengan kau ni, kau tak pernah
pun macam ni. Pasal Rina ke, kau jadi tak tentu arah ni?” Pertanyaan tersebut
bagaikan panah yang menembusi jauh ke dalam hatinya. Tepat kesasarannya. Malik di belakang gadis itu mengangguk laju
tanda mengiakan kata-kata gadis itu.
Lantas, lelaki itu
mengangkat wajah memandang Yana yang masih lagi sibuk dengan kerjanya. Rona
mukanya tampak kemerah-merahan itu menimbulkan geli hati Yana dan Malik.
“ Cakap jelah yang kau suka dia. Habis
cerita,” Yana mencuba lagi membongkar rahsia hati rakannya itu.
“ Mana adalah. Stop talking about the
nonsense thing, can you?” Zaidi mencuba untuk mengwal keadaan sekeliling.
“ Zaidi, tak payahlah nak malu-malu.
Peluang dah ada dah ni,tinggal nak cakap jer. Zaidi suka Rina,” usikan Malik
yang sedari tadi membisukan diri menambahkan lagi rona warna pada muka lelaki
itu. Yana di hadapannya hanya tertawa kecil melihat gelagat dua sahabat ini.
“ Cakap jelah…Muka dah merah dah tu,” menggelabah dibuatnya lelaki
ini.
“ Aku….aku….” Kali ini kedua-dua sahabatnya memfokuskan pandangan mereka pada
Zaidi. Masing-masing menunggu jawapan lelaki itu. Yana yang sedari tadi sibuk
dengan kerjanya terhenti apabila mendengar Zaidi bersuara. Lagilah tidak keruan
jadinya lelaki itu. Teragak-agak untuk menghabiskan ayat tersebut.
“ Dahlah, forget it,” Zaidi berlalu pergi
dengan segera. Meninggalkan kedua-dua sahabatnya itu kebingungan. Hanya saling
berpandangan.
“ Biasalah. Orang yang dah angau, memang
macam tu,” Yana hanya mengangguk perlahan. Senyuman nakal terukir di bibirnya.
“
Zaidi tu, tak pernah bercinta. Sekali dah kena penangannya, tak tau macam mana
nak ‘control’,”
“ Dalam hati ada tamanlah,” serentak itu
mereka tertawa.
MALAM itu Zaidi dan
Irina menjalankan amanah yang telah diberikan untuk menghantar setiap ‘request’
ke kelas yang telah ditetapkan.Suasana
sekeliling sunyi sepi dan pasangan itu juga hanya mendiamkan diri. Tiada
perkataan yang dikeluarkan oleh mereka berdua. Hanya derapan kaki sahaja yang
kedengaran menghiasi suasana yang sunyi itu.
“ Rina, tangan kau ok tak?” Barulah kini
Zaidi membuka bicara. Rina hanya mengangguk perlahan sebagai jawapannya. Namun,
anggukan tersebut tidak menggambarkan isi hatinya kala ini. Tangannya tiba-tiba
terasa sakit menyebabkan dia terpaksa menahan kesakitan yangmenjalar di segenap urat darahnya.
Zaidi memandang ke arah gadis itu.Kalau nak
diikutkan gadis di sebelahnya bukanlah gadis yang pasif dan pendiam.
Hari-harinya di sini dihiasi dengan keceriaan,tetapi hari ini tidak pula. Irina
menyedari paa yang berlaku di sekelilingnya segera mengalihkan pandangannya ke
sisi. Lelaki itu terus-terusan memandangnya. Irina hanya tersenyum kelat. Bukan
dia sengaja meminggirkan diri tetapi kesakitan yang dialaminya barangkali membataskan
gadis itu untuk banyak bicara.
Wajah yang pucat
diselangi dengan senyuman yang hambar terukir di bibir, menambahkan lagi rasa
hairan yang mula bertandang di hati kecil lelaki ini.Berkerut juga mukanya dalam
dia mengamati wajah kecil gadis itu. Tidak selesa apabila diperlakukan sebegitu
rupa, Irina segera mengalihkan pandangannya ke hadapan. Saat ini barulah Zaidi
mengerti keadaan Irina.
“ Aku tengok berat je barang yang kau bawa
tu. Can you give me some?” permintaan lelaki itu di sambut segera oleh Irina.
Dia menghulurkan timbunan kertas di atas tangan kanannya yang tidak sakit.
“ Lain kali cakaplah awal-awal. Baru
sekarang kau cakap,” serentak mereka tertawa kecil. Irina cuba menyembunyikan
keadaannya kala ini.Zaidi menyambut gumpalan kertas tersebut sambil tersenyum.
Akhirnya mereka tiba ke
kelas yang dituju.4 Al Farghani.
Suasana di kelas tersebut sunyi sepi berbeza berbanding dengan kelas Irina. Masing-masing
sibuk dengan tugasan yang diberikan. Irina hanya menunggu di luar sahaja.
Membiarkan Zaidi yang menguruskan selebihnya. Zaidi tidak pula memaksa kerana
dia tahu keadaan gadis itu.
Kasakitannya
menjalar-jalar lagi di segenap ruang urat darahnya. Mencucuk-cucuk rasanya.
Sesekali terasa lenguh lengan kirinya itu namun, ditahan jua. Berkerut juga
mukanya menahan kesakitan tersebut.
Rasylan yang baru
sahaja pulang kembali ke kelasnya berasa pelik dengan gelagat Irina. Perlahan-lahan
dia menghampiri gadis itu.
“Rina….” Irina sedikit terkejut dengan
sapaan sahabatnya itu. Dia semacam mengenali suara itu. Irina memaniskan roman
mukanya walaupun itu merupakan perkara yang sia-sia sahaja. Dia menoleh ke
belakang. Menawarkan senyuman yang paling manis buat sahabatnya itu.
“
Rasylan…” panggil Irina perlahan. Mencuba sedaya upaya menyembunyikan
keadaannya kala ini. Tetapi Rasylan tidak mudah tertipu. Dia tahu keadaan gadis
itu. Lambat-lambat dia berjalan menghampiri Irina. gadis itu hanya terdiam di
situ.
“
Tangan kau sakit lagikan? Muka kau yang pucat macam ni, kau ingat boleh tipu
akulah?” Irina hanya terkelu lidah, lantas dia menundukkan wajah ke bawah.
Kalau berhadapan dengan lelaki ini memang susah dia hendak melepaskan diri.
Seketika kemudian,Rasylan hanya menggelengkan kepalanya.
“ Lepas ni kau balik hostel terus tau.
Rehat,” Irina hanya mengangguk perlahan mendengar saranan sahabatnya itu. Tertunduk
wajahnya memandang ke lantai. Tidak berani bertentang muka dengan lelaki itu.
“ Rina, jom balik,” suara Zaidi
menyentakkanmereka berdua. Namun,
Rasylan tetap pada posisinya. Tidak berganjak sedikit pun. Irina hanya
memandang kedua-dua lelaki itu dengan pandangan yang silih berganti. Mereka
bertiga seperti patung yang digam tepat pada posisinya.Detik demi detik
berlalu, barulah Rasylan mengeluh panjang dan berlalu pergi.
Perlahan-lahan Irina
melangkah menghampiri Zaidi dan seiring itu juga mereka berjalan menuju kembali
ke kelas. Tiada perbualan mengiringi perjalanan mereka. Kesakitan yang dialami
oleh gadis itu nampaknya bertambah lagi. Cubaan untuk menahannya tidak juga
mampu. Akhirnya, Irina terhenti melangkah menyebabkan langkah lelaki di
sebelahnya terhenti mendadak. Segera lelaki itu menoleh ke arah Irina yang
terduduk memegangang tangannya yang berbalut. Wajahnya tertunduk menahan
kesakitan. Lekas Zaidi menghampiri gadis itu, risau dengan keadaan yang dialami
oleh Irina.
“ Rina, are you okay?” Jelas terpancar
kegusaranmelalui nada suaranya. Gadis
itu hanya mendiamkan diri menambahkan lagi kerisauan di hati. Untuk beberapa
ketika Zaidi hanya setia di sisi gadis itu.
Irina mencuba sedaya
upaya untuk menahan kesakitan yang semakin mencengkam lengannya kala ini. Barulah
kini dia terasa lega sedikit,namun kesakitan itu tidak hilang. Perlahan-lahan
dia bangun. Sempat juga dia manawarkan senyuman hambar buat lelaki itu. Lambat-lambat
kakinya melangkah meneruskan perjalanan yang masih lagi tertangguh.
Zaidi pula hanya
mengekori di belakang gadis itu. Takut juga kalau gadis itu jatuh pengsan.
Ditambah pula dengan lalulan yang mereka lalui itu agak lengang dari orang
ramai memandangkan ianya jauh daripada kelas. Kagum melihat semangat gadis itu.
Tidak pernah mengalah.
YANAyang baru pulang dari menyelesaikan amanah
yang diberikan terkejut melihat keadaan Irina dari arah bertentangan.
Meninggalkan Malik keseorangan di belakang dan segera gadis itu berlari ke arah
sahabatnya itu. Zaidi dan Malik hanya memandang antara satu sama lain. Irina
hanya menawarkan senyuman yang kusam kepada Yana. Melihat sahaja keadaan
sahabatnya itu,dia segera merangkul pinggang Irina. Membantu memapah Irina.
“ Yana… Stop it. Aku boleh jalan sendiri,”
Irina menolak lembut hasrat baik rakannnya itu. Yana pula memandang Irina
dengan seribu satu persoalan. Sekali lagi dia hanya tersenyum. Mahu atau tidak
terpaksalah Yana mengikut kehendak Irina itu.
Yana meletakkan telapak
tangannya pada dahi gadis itu. “ Rina, kau demamlah,” kerisauan jelas terpancar
menerusi nada suaranya.
“ Yana, trust me that I’m okay,” Irina
segera melangkah masuk ke dalam kelas. Yana hanya memandang sayu ke arah
sahabatnya itu. Irina memang seorang yang degil. Keputusannya memang tidak
boleh disangkal. Dia hanya mengeluh kasar mengenangkan pernagai Irina itu.
Zaidi dan Malik hanya
berdiam di situ menyaksikan drama yang dipertontonkan di hadapan mereka. Yana
kembali berkala\ih kepada mereka berdua. Kemudian menetapkan pandangannya pada
Zaidi.
“ Zaidi, Rina macam mana tadi?”
Persoalan tersebut yang diselangi dengan kerutan wajah di muka membuatkan Zaidi
kembalimemandang Malik disisinya.
“ Rina, dia hampir je ‘collapse’ kat tengah
jalan tadi,” Zaidi terpaksa juga
memberitahu perkara sebenar. Yana tergamam mendengar penjelasan yang diberikan
kepadanya. Bertambahlah lagi kerutn di dahinya. Malik juga begitu. Gadis itu
segera berlalu pergi meninggalkan mereka berdua tanpa sebarang bicara. Sekali
lagi mereka saling berpandangan.
Malik berterusan
memandang lelaki itu. Ternyata dia terkejut mendengar apa yang diutarakan
menerusi mulut Zaidi.
“ Tak payahlah pandang aku cam tu,” Malas
hendak melayan kerenah sahabatnya itu, dia segera melangkah masuk ke dalam kelas.
Letih hendak menjawab pelbagai persoalan yangbakal timbul sebentar sahaja lagi.
Jadi sebelum terkena bisanya, lebih baik mencari penawarnya. Malik pula segera
mengejarnya dan merangkul bahu Zaidi.
“ Amacam seronok tak?” Zaidi hanya
menggelengkan kepalanya. Sakit kepala memikirkan gelagat Malik ini. Tiada
kata-kata yang terluah dari mulut lelaki itu membuatkan lelaki di sebelahnya
mengeluh panjang,namun begitu dia tidak berputus asa. Mengasak lagi Zaidi untuk
menjawab persoalan yang diajukan. Tetapi Zaidi hanya mendiamkan diri meneruskan
langkahnya ke kelas.